A Fateful Premonition
by Rhapsody in Pink
Summary: After a prophency is made about the defeat of Voldemort, Dumbledore determines that Lily and James must at least become friends. But what kind of sly plan could get the two together when they are as different as day and night?
1. In the Minister's Office

A FATEFUL PREMONITION

__

Chapter One: In the Minster's Office

The brunette young woman bustling about in the Minister's office neatly stacked the piles of paper and sighed. 

Jessica Feelips was the average single mom. She and her five-year-old daughter Sara lived quite well off her paycheck and the money Sara's dad (George Hart) sent every month. Of course, Jessica missed being home for Sara and regretted having to ship her off to day care every week day. 

Jessica busily filed papers in the main office of the Ministry of Magic. Humming to herself an old Beatles song, she was happy because she had the day of tomorrow. She and Sara were planning to go to the zoo in London. Also, to Jessica's great relief, her seer ability hadn't manifested itself in several weeks. Whenever it did, she was left with queasiness similar to the morning sickness she had once experienced and it was not a pleasure she enjoyed having twice. She fingered the small recorder hanging from her belt; there to pick up and foretelling that might happen at any time. Thank heavens that hadn't happened recently! Maybe it was time to take the darn thing off!

Suddenly Jessica's small frame began to shudder and she collapsed limply to the soft carpet. Her voice took the irritable twinge of a Banshee's keening and a sound was ripped forth from her lungs. 

__

"He is strengthening. He will become the greatest of all dark wizards. The strong few will stand fast against him but more will be drawn to him and the innocents will die. Muggles and wizards alike will be killed in mass destruction as he hunts them down with terrifying wantonness. Yet there remains hope! There are two people who, if their fates so entwine, will produce the downfall to this great and evil Lord. An unlikely couple which will never be unless interference grasps their singular path. The tiger lily and the stag must be brought together or we'll all suffer eternal darkness and evil…."

Jessica's voice trailed off. She lay stiff and immobile for a few moments before her eyes fluttered open, a bloodshot red. Cautiously she looked around the room. How had she fallen to the floor? She couldn't recall doing anything that involved such a situation. 

__

Oh dear, Jessica thought suddenly. She couldn't have… could she? Quickly she rose from the floor and rewound her recorder. There was a high-pitched scribble of a definite voice.

Dumbstruck, Jessica listened to the tape. There it was! A chill crawled up her spine as she heard the message left. The voice that wasn't hers… and was… plus the horrifying information. Jessica remained motionless as the recording wound into silence. With abnormal seriousness, she picked her wand out of her robe and pointed it at the fireplace. 

"Professor McGonagall? Is Headmaster Dumbledore nearby? I have something very important to tell him."

Albus Dumbledore was seated at his desk in his office at Hogwarts. Even though it was midsummer, the heat didn't touch him. Dumbledore frowned in deep thought; his thin silver eyebrows connected over the shine of his half-moon glasses. Fawkes rested his head on Dumbledore's knee comfortingly. 

What Professor Dumbledore had learned only a few hours before from Miss Frinidan had disturbed him. Only a select few knew of the danger the rising Lord Voldemort posed. That Jessica knew now was frightening. Dumbledore folded his hands. Who could the tiger lily and stag be? They could be almost anyone!

Dumbledore found himself in the middle of a brainstorm. Perhaps that red head from Gryffindor that had become a prefect for the upcoming year was it. Her name _was _Lily. But the stag, Dumbledore paused, that was troublesome. He looked around the untidy room for inspiration and his eyes settled on a yellow slip of parchment from Professor McGonagall. It was from the end of the last school year informing him that James Potter and Sirius Black had gotten an awe-inspiring number of 120 detentions. Potter and his cronies, Dumbledore thought. Brilliant students! Maybe they held a clue, Dumbledore hoped. They were Gryffindors and in Lily's year. And wasn't James always being called "Prongs" by his friends? Could Prongs be a stag? A good possibility, Dumbledore smiled. A _very _good possibility.

He decided to wonder about James' unusual nickname later. 

His genius had deducted who the prediction had been talking about in under five minutes. Perfect- enough time left for a snack! Dumbledore produced a bag of lemon drops. He sucked on one as he thought about his new problem. How to get Lily and James together? The two were as different as day and night!

-*-*-*-


	2. Prologue::

~ Prologue ~

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

This Week's feature story: **Behind the Legend; The James Potter Story**

By Rita Skeeter

__

Staff _writer_

James Leonard Potter is the type of boy parents dream of, well almost. He is also _the_ guy many girls _do_ dream about. His parents, Mr. Harold Orpheous Potter and Mrs. Annette Rosalind Potter, are two of the sweetest, funniest, and charming wizards this writer has ever met. They live in a cozy cottage in a small wizard neighborhood and are a very old wizarding stock. James is a charismatic fifth year that excels at everything he does and has the best grades of his class. He is chaser for Gryffandor's champion quidditch team and has the looks of a god! His perpetually messed coal black hair and gray-blue eyes behind those magnificent glasses make him a delicious hunk!! He certainly has the _muscles _ladies. And he has also recently become a prefect. But what about the "well almost" you wonder. Nobody's perfect and James would die of embarrassment if he was. So here, ladies and gents, I will reveal the truth about James L. Potter. He is a…TEACHER'S PET! The "prefect' proves it!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

"Ah, no, no, NO! This can not be happening! She is totally trashing my reputation!" James Potter roared at the Gryffandor breakfast table. "I will never _ever_ live this down! EVER."

"Relax, _teacher's pet_, you knew Rita liked you. 'Oh, he has the looks of a god.'" Sirius 

Black fluttered his eyelashes.

"Shut up Padfoot"

"And he 'certainly has muscles ladies!'" Remus Lupin tittered.

"At least someone likes _me_."

"I'll have you know a very intelligent seventh year has her eye on me," Remus retorted as he shoveled scrambled eggs into his mouth.

"Right," James said. "Live under whatever delusion that makes you feel best."

"At least we're not," here both Sirius and Remus sniggered, "a TEACHER'S PET!"

"I am leaving. I don't have to take this kind of abuse." James managed to say with as much dignity as he had left before picking up a piece of burnt toast and walking out.

"Yeah, we know you can't take verbal lashings, TP!" Sirius called after him.

"Ya know this is going to bug him forever." Remus smirked.

"I hope he never finds out we tampered with Rita's article," Sirius said. "I mean, after all we _did _spare him the embarrassment of being called a cutie petutie by Rita Skeeter."

"Ezactamungo. I'm sure he would thank us if he knew. Imagine! Being Rita Skeeter's cutie petutie. YUCK."

"I think I'm going to be sick." moaned Peter Pettigrew. He made it outside of the hall before retching. Rita had actually had a thing for _him_ last year! 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

James was fuming as he strode down the path to the greenhouse. I can't _believe_ she said I was a teacher's pet, he thought. How vulgar. And I'm only the second best in the fifth year class. Which was not supposed to happen. I wonder who is first? Could this possibly get any worse?

It could and soon did.

Peeves zoomed down the hallway drunkenly where he crashed into a suit of armor. It promptly fell apart. 

"Potter did it," screeched Peeves to Filch, who had magically appeared on the spot instantaneously. 

"I did not," exclaimed a furious James. That was far to simple a trick for him. It was positively insulting to his genius. "I would have made a much bigger crash and added a few Filibuster Fireworks to the effect in the very least!" 

"Come with me, Potter," sneered Filch. "We'll just see what Professor McGonagall has to say about this."

*

Professor McGonagall was the newest edition to the staff at Hogwarts. She was around the age of forty and a big improvement over the last Transfiguration teacher. This means that she actually knew her stuff. Unfortunately for Filch, she was presently dealing with a group of errant students and severely told him not to bother her and go see Professor Dumbledore if he had a problem that required assistance. 

Upon entering Dumbledore's office, James was greeted by a nod from Fawkes who had come to recognize him and a small, knowing smile from Dumbledore. 

"Mr. Potter, just the man I was looking for. You may leave us now, Filch."

"Yessir!" and with a military salute, Filch exited the cluttered room. 

"I didn't do any-" James started with his most innocent look since he _was_ innocent, when Dumbledore interrupted. 

"I don't want to hear about whatever this new vexation is of Filches. You are absolved from punishment. Take a seat."

"Uh, okay." Dumbledore had never treated James like this. It almost seemed like favoritism but Dumbledore didn't do favoritism. 

"As you know, Voldemort has been rapidly gaining followers and power."

"My parents aren't hurt are they?" asked James worriedly.

"No, no. But there has been a premonition that makes clear what is vital in the downfall of Voldemort."

"Uh, huh…. I still don't see what this has to do with me."

"You may not, but I do! You, James Potter, must become friends with Lily Evens. I warn you, it won't be easy. I do have a plan for a way for this to come about, however. I am pleased to inform you that you are about to get a second mum."

"My parents aren't getting divorced!" James was become more confused every minute.

"Lily is a quiet girl, very shy and keeps to herself. Not even all your charm would persuade her to come out of her shell. That is why she will be your second mom. From this moment forward you have had problems in the past with getting to class on time (that had happened before, pulling a good prank sometimes took some effort), having your materials, and doing homework. The constant proximity to the female gender has muddled your brains."

"I object!" James flew upright in his chair. "It is most certainly the other way around. _I _muddle _their_ brains. I have heard them talking about me. If she pays attention at all to what is going on in the world around her she would know that wasn't true."

"True, true. Luckily, she doesn't and I happen to know she has no interest in boys at this time."

"Okay." James sighed, resigned to fate. 

"Do you know who she is?" asked Dumbledore with a twinkle in his eye. 

"Er…" James recognized the name. It was on the tip of his tongue, a past girlfriend perhaps?

"She is in your year and your house," hinted Dumbledore. 

"_Really_?" James pondered this, a rare occasion. So she was in his year…Come to think of it, wasn't his fellow prefect named Lily? "Oh," said James with sudden recognition. 

"She isn't apt to draw attention. Actually James," the headmaster excused James' memory problems, "I think she dislikes you and your gang."

"She hates us? _Me_?" James was, well frankly James was shocked. 

"Oh no. Lily doesn't hate she dislikes. Hate is one step away from love, you know."

"I think you are mistaken Professor. I loathe **cough** hate **cough** a Slytherin boy and I am positive that that is not a step away form love."

"Circumstances change. Anyhow, Lily _dislikes _you because you are troublemakers and Lily doesn't like people who break the rules."

"_Wait a minute, let me get this straight!_ Somehow if me and this insane person who DISLIKES me because I break RULES, which is (sorry Professor) what I live for, get together and become friends, we will ultimately bring about something that will almost destroy _Voldemort_, someone I haven't even heard of?"

"Yes, I believe that is correct."

"Uh oh…!"

*

"So how come you were in Dumbledore's office so long?" asked Sirius Black as he, James, and Remus tiptoed through the corridors.

"Oh, he wanted to discuss some stuff with me," said James vaguely as the threesome stopped in front of a painting of a bowl of fruit. He tickled a pear who gave a muted howl of laughter before turning into a green doorknob. "Let's get some food, I'm starved!"

"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and you missed it. Well, part of it anyway. What do you expect?" inquired Remus virtuously. 

"Yup, uh huh, whatever. Hurry up and be quiet! We don't have the invisibility cloak with us, remember?" hissed James.

"Prongs, my man, my buddy, my teacher's pet" {Sirius was promptly elbowed}"stop being so nervous."

"Listen, I need to talk to you later, okay?" said James.

"Definitely!" and "Sure thing!" were his replies.

"He's so going to tell us," whispered Remus.

"He knew it would be futile to argue," said Sirius airily as he inspected his nails. "We have our ways."

"Dung bombs."

"Curses."

"Hexes."

"Humiliation."

"I almost wished he hadn't given in," sighed Remus with a dreamy look in his eyes.

"I know," breathed Sirius. "We still can!" he added brightly. "Given time we will be sure to come up with something worthwhile. After all, we have humiliated him already today.

"Are you two coming or not," came James muffled voice from behind a giant sized basket of food. "I already got _my _food, but I am _not _sharing it with you."

"Pig," growled Remus who climbed through the hole in the wall and promptly ordered for a basket double the size of James's.

"Oink, oink." Snorted Sirius rudely who ordered two baskets the size of Remus's.

"Let's stay of the subject off one's food," said James wisely looking at each person's basket (or in Sirius's case, _baskets_).

"Right."

"Agreed."

*

"Soooo," drawled Sirius as he licked the last crumbs of the double layered chocolate cake off his fingers.

"Hmm?" mumbled James whose mouth was filled with strawberry tarts.

"What happened with Professor Dumbledore and why were you there in the first place?" explained Remus who had gulped down his cherry jubilee, Cimorene's Special Recipe.

"Hmhonammam," said James which translated to "Hold on a minute." He swallowed he rest of the tart. "Filch heard Peeves knock down the suit of armor and Peeves said it was me, so Filch brought me to Professor McGonagall but she was too busy punishing some class so he brought me to Professor Dumbledore. And Dumbledore said he didn't want to hear anything so if I really had done something I wouldn't have been punished which stinks because I _didn't_ do something. Then it got weird. Do either of you know who Lily Evens is?" finished James.

"Nope. Don't know, don't care, never will," said Sirius lazily as he hung sideways across his bed.

"_I_ do." Stated Remus. "She is in our year stupid and she also happens to be in our HOUSE!" 

"Oh," thought Sirius. "Well, I guess she is okay then."

"She doesn't like us." Said James.

"Whyever not?" gasped Sirius. "The Sorting Hat obviously made a mistake if he put her in 

Gryffandor when she doesn't like _us_. She belongs in Slytherin where she can find others to hate with her. I mean, we embody what a true Gryffandor IS!"

"She doesn't hate us precisely. She _dislikes_ us because we don't follow rules."

"What a pity," said Remus.

"Help, help! Call nine-one-one. Someone has had their brains addled!" screeched Sirius at the top of his lungs. 

"Sirius, if you can't be quiet, leave," scowled James. "I am trying to finish. Wait till you hear what else Dumbledore had to say."

"What? I'll be quiet! Promise, Scout's honor, I will."

"What is a scout?"

"Nevermind Remus."

"AS I WAS SAYING, ahem, I am to become friends with Miss Lily Evens. I don't even know who she is and I have a feeling I am going to _dislike _her but Dumbledore says I have to. And listen to this, apparently my heavenly charm won't work on her so Dumbledore is going to have her be my surrogate MOTHER!"

"_WHAT_," yelled his friends. 

"You can't be serious," said Sirius.

"I'm serious, Sirius."

"Dumbledore was fooling with you?" Remus asked hopefully.

"I wish."

"But wouldn't she figure out it was a hoax?"

"Dumbledore says she doesn't pay attention to what goes on."

"Okay, OKAY. All we need is a plan. Remus, since you know who she is, you talk to her first. You are more countrified than James and me." Said Sirius.

"I grew up on a flat and you and James grew up on some old road miles away from civilization," Remus looked at his friend as if he had suddenly gone insane. The thought that he looked at Sirius like he was crazy a lot occurred to him.

"But you seem as if you did, matey."

"Ya, um sure Sirius. Maybe you should visit Peter in the infirmary."

"Go stick your head in a rain bucket, matey," said Sirius.

"Those things went out of style years ago. Where have you been? It's stick your head up a gutter now. Keep up with the times, Black. And you _claim_ to be sophisticated."

"Both of you be quiet. Let us concentrate on a plan. Remus, you talk to Lily since you are the most accessible one of us. Sirius will give it a try afterwards. And we'll see what information you can collect."

"Got it."

"Aye, aye matey."

"GO TO BED SIRIUS!" James rolled his eyes. Sirius was definitely on something! Maybe he could get in on it…

*

Remus cautiously approached a small red head who was reading a book in the corner of the Gryffandor common room. 

"Are you Lily Evens?" he asked in a winning tone. The girl jumped.

"Y-y-yes," she stuttered without looking at him. "Why?"

"I couldn't help but notice how well you do in Charms and I'm having a spot of difficulty with our homework. I was wondering if you could help. The name is Remus Lupin."

"Oh. I'm um Lily." She shook his hand timidly.

"I know."

"Oh yeah." 

Remus stared behind her. She looked back and saw Sirius and James gesturing wildly. On seeing her turn they abruptly struck poses of indifference and Sirius started whistling. James began singing loudly, "Ohhh, I know a song that everybody hates, everybody hates. Everybody hates. I know a song that everybody hates and this is how it gooooeeeessss." He started up again and a group of girls swarmed around him like a group of bees. "YOU have such a _wonderful_ singing voice, James."

Lily faced Remus a bit ruffled. "Are you part of that Marigold Pirate thingamagig?"

"The Marauders? Yes, yes I am." Remus made a slicing motion across his neck while looking over Lily's head. He hurriedly added "But don't hold it against me." Though he said it to thin air because Lily had vanished upstairs.

"You idiots!" exclaimed Remus striding over to Sirius and James. James was jumping up and down and Sirius was scratching himself like a monkey. "I was this close." He held up his forefinger and thumb to demonstrate. "It's Sirius's turn next."

"I am going dooowwwnnn." Moaned Sirius.

*

"Good Lord, Gracious Lord, I've been good. I haven't done anything to Snape for the past hour. Don't you think that deserves a reward? It's nothing big I'm asking, only for Lily not to run screaming from me. Is that a lot to ask? I may not have been so good this year…" mumbled Sirius as he made his way towards Lily in the library under Madame Pince's strict eye.

"Hiya, Lily. It is Lily isn't it? Sirius Black at your service." Sirius pumped Lily's hand up and down vigorously. Lily looked as if she was facing her doom. "Would you like to go on a date with me?" 

"I have to go," Lily said before running from the library.

"YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY PRAYER," accused Sirius shaking a fist in the air angrily.

"I told you to be delicate," shouted James. "And you ask her out on a DATE?"

"Potter, Lupin, and Black! Get out of my library NOW. You are disrupting the peace." Madame Pince threw them out the door.

"Good work, oh brilliant one. I pay homage to your genius." Said Remus sarcastically.

"She said no to going on a date with me," Sirius was in a nasty bit of shock. "This is no ordinary person. This is a SLYTHERIN IN DISGUISE!"


	3. Lily Takes Center Stage

Author's Note: Okay, okay, I admit it

Author's Note:Okay, okay, I admit it. I'm totally stuck on Lily and James. I can't help it! It's just my way. Eventually (I'm hoping, pray for me all of you will ya?) I will come up with a new way to write about Lily and James but don't count on it for a long long time P. S. Lily is a big wuss at the beginning and I admit that if she had gone to my school and acted like that she would have annoyed me big time. But what the hey? I am the author aren't I?^-^!

Disclaimer: Same old Same old. All the stuff you recognize belongs to the one and only J.K. Rowling. Anything else belongs to me but I doubt anyone will feel the need to use it considering the fact that I am not exactly the best writer out there.

Lily

Chapter I: Lily at Heart

A fifth year with long red locks, emerald eyes, and a slender, lithe body, Lily Evans was a studious person. She could have been popular with her looks and build but she totally ignored these assets. The top of every class, school was her life. She hated troublemakers who disturbed routine. She didn't participate in most school activities and never went to dances. She had only one friend who she ever whispered to at night and that was usually about getting good grades or Petunia.

When Lily was informed that she would need to visit Dumbledore the following morning she got so worried she was almost sick. She couldn't manage to get to sleep so finally her friend spelled her so that _she_ (the friend) at least could get some sleep. The spell was taken off at six in the morning and even after having a full ten hours of sleep, Lily Evans had purple smudges under her eyes and her skin, normally pale, was deathly white. Professor McGonagall told her the password to get into Professor Dumbledore's office and sent Lily on her way, not noting the subtle changes in her looks. Lily was like that. Most of the time people forgot she was even there. She didn't mind. That way no one disturbed her either. 

Nervously Lily tottered to the gargoyle and whispered Dumbledore's password. "Lemon drops." They were Dumbledore's absolute favorite muggle candy and though Lily was a little afraid of the kindly gentleman (she was a little afraid of everyone) she always got him lemon drops for Christmas. 

The gargoyle moved in a grating way revealing a staircase. She tiptoed up the stairs, never making the creak that usually alerted Dumbledore, he didn't always rely on magic priding himself on his natural **muggle** instincts. Generally, everyone else made at least a small creak. Timidly Lily knocked on the door, barely making a sound. She desperately hoped that she wouldn't have to do it again. Luckily, for Lily, Dumbledore's comforting voice called "Come in," and Lily slipped quietly through the door. 

Professor Dumbledore was head master at Hogwarts Academy for Wizards. He had about four feet long silver hair that almost glowed. His true blue eyes twinkled at his students behind gold rimmed half moon glasses. Usually, he was found wearing blue robes and was the only wizard Voldemort*, or You-Know-Who for more delicate readers, had been known to fear. He was seated at his desk behind a disorderly stack of papers. Lily ached to put it into order. How could he stand it like that? One of the two other chairs in the room was filled by a tall, muscled boy. He was handsome, wore glasses and had perpetually messy black hair. Lily knew him and wished she didn't. He was James Potter, captain of the Gryffandor quidditch team and beloved by all females in school who followed him in crowds even if he was a fifth year. All females except for Lily. A troublemaker. He disrupted routines.

"Ah, Lily m'dear. You are right on time. You should get some more sleep. You're not looking so good and you are going to need to be in top notch shape." Dumbledore smiled warmly at her. Lily's faced warmed a little and a small rosy color crept across her white cheeks. Her stomach was in butterflies wondering why she should need to be in top notch condition.

"Young Potter here is in need of a mother," began Dumbledor as he motioned Lily to sit down in the extra seat. Lily practically fell at the sentence and she gripped the arms of the chair as her mouth dropped open a little bit. Potter frowned at his feet but it was obvious that he had known ahead of time about what Professor Dumbledore was going to talk about.

"P-p-professor Dumbledore, excuse me, b-but doesn't he already h-have a mother?" Lily's eyes were wide open in fear and disbelief as she rotated between staring at Potter and Professor Dumbledore. 

"But of course Lily. Everyone has a mother. But I think that James would prefer to have his mother not come and I think Mrs. Potter would prefer to stay with Mr. Potter, rather than look after her unruly son at school. What I meant was that James needs someone to make sure he has everything because he, ahem," Dumbledore coughed a little, "tends to forget about things like homework, supplies, and things when his brain is fogged up by constant proximity to a different gender." A smile tugged at Potter's well-formed lips but he continued to stare at his feet. "Professor McGonagall and myself discussed who could look after him because Hogwarts has a reputation to maintain and we have never had to lose a student yet. Unfortunately circumstances are working against James. We thought that if we could find someone who does well in school and has spare time to help a fellow student and be his 'adopted' parent it would work out just fine. You, Lily, are exactly who we were looking for, so we know that if it doesn't work out it wouldn't work out with anyone else. Is this plan acceptable to you?"

Lily looked at Potter who had been studying his shoes throughout the whole conversation. She really didn't want to do it but it wasn't as if she could refuse _Dumbledore_. She chewed her lip wondering if there was any way she could possibly get out of it without making it look like she was getting out of it. Both Potter and Dumbledore were looking at her in surprise now, at her delay in answering. Every other girl would have leapt at the chance. Lily felt herself flush under the curious glances. Dumbledore made an effort to hide a smile underneath his hand. "There isn't another person better suited?" she finally asked hopefully. Dumbledore didn't bother to hide his smile this time, "I'm afraid not Lily." He knew how hard it would be for her to say no to the headmaster. A tiny, wistful sigh escaped from her and Lily quickly clamped her mouth shut, She darted a look at Potter and Dumbledore. Dumbledore looked as if he hadn't heard but Potter was beginning to turn red. " I suppose…- I mean I'd love too." Lily ventured a tiny smile.

"Wonderful. I'm very proud of you Lily for stepping up to the task. I'm sure James will be able to answer any of your questions if you have any. Let me see, you'll need a note for class," Dumbledore scribbled something on a piece of paper," Here you go. Now, if you'll excuse me I have some dusty papers that need sorting." Dumbledore dismissed them and quickly shut the door behind them before guffawing in amusement. He buzzed Professor McGonagall, startling her class of third years. "You should have seen her face Minnie. It looked like she was being lead to her doom!" The class looked at each other in puzzlement. That couldn't have been professor Dumbledore! 

"What are you staring at?" Professor McGonagall reprimanded her students sternly. "There will be a test on this at Mid-Terms so you had better concentrate!" 

****


	4. In Which Lily feels she Deserves ExtraCr...

****

In Which Lily feels she Deserves some Major Extra-Credit Points

*

Lily walked quickily to keep up with James's long-legged strides. They made a striking contrast; James had black hair and Lily had red. Lily had green eyes, James had blue-gray. And where James walked without any acknowledgement of Lily and his arms swinging freely in front of him, Lily cast sidelong desperate glances at him and had her arms folded in front of her protectively. The halls filled around them as the masses exited classrooms and the two equally disgruntled people split up.

*

Transfiguration was next for the Gryffandor fifth years. Lily watched the last third year leave Professor MGonagall clutching a pincushion to his chest. She took her customary seat at the back of the room next to the open window. A fly lazily flew around in circles above the roses that were in bloom at the wrong time of the year. Propping her head on her hand, Lily gazed at the big, fluffy clouds of September roll by on the blue autumn sky. Perfect weather for flying, she thought as she looked down at the group of first years who looked so nervous that this had to be their first flying lesson. Master Whistletov came out with his striped robes on and a shiny whistle dangling around his neck. Lily shifted her gaze to the birds sweeping up, down, and through the clouds. One of the few things Lily loved and actually _wasn't _afraid of was flying. 

"Miss Evens. MISS EVENS! Miss Evans, if you would kindly return to the present? I said that in light of some new circumstances you will be moved to the center of the room and partnered with...ah, yes. James Potter."

Lily let out a squeak of annoyance. She allowed herself to go over and with the air of a martyr, she sat down next to him. And then she hurriedly buried her flamingface in a book.

"Well, carrots your face matches your hair now, but I am afraid this is not a free period," drawled James in her ear. Lily's head flew up and hit him in the nose. "Owww, not so hard dwarf." Lily was only an inch shorter than he was. 

"We are supposed to be turning these balls into frogs, so get cracking." James had already turned his into a frog. Which jumped on Lily's head.

"Frogs? Really? How _wonderful_! I mean, oh." Lily took the frog of her head and cuddled it in her hands. 

"Okay, wait a minute. You, some insane girl who is scared of everybody, likes frogs? Frogs that have the rest of the female portion of this class giving me headache?" James looked like a fish with his mouth open. The females he was referring to were screeching in fright and hopping around the room with frogs following them. Sirius Black was occupied in directing all the frogs in his vicinity into one girl's hair.

"Maybe,"Lily concentrated on the ball in front of her. She tapped it with her wand and it turned green and sprouted warts. Ten tries later it was croaking but nothing else was happening. 

"Oh great! I am stuck with a dud in Transfiguration." James rolled his eyes. "Here, like this." He tapped his wand on either side of the ball and said clearly, "Amphib_ian _Fiddil_ious_." Naturally, the ball _had_ to turn into a frog immediately. Lily was not particularly happy. Being told you're a dud in Transfiguration, which you already KNOW you are bad at, and then being shown how to turn a ball into a frog instantly by the person who you like the least is not the most pleasant experience. James tapped it again and the frog switched to a ball, again almost instantly. 

"Umm," Lily looked determinedly at the ball. "_Am_phibian _Fidd_ilious." She tapped it on both sides and nothing happened. "Petunia!" Lily stamped her foot. The word Petunia had come to replace profanity in her language. 

"Yeah, petunia whatever. Hurry up and switch it." James was looking for his frog, which happened to have hidden itself in Lily's hair knowing that it did not want to be a boring ball again. 

"Ah ha!" he lunged for the frog which leapt on top of the ball Lily was working on. James landed on top of her.

"OoOoOo!" screamed Lily who lost her balance and fell forwards. Her spell bounced onto Peter Pettigrew who had rushed over. He broke out in warts. Well, MORE. He already had a couple. 

"Gerroff Me." moaned Lily from under James. "You're _heavy_!"

"Oh my gosh! Lily spoke," gasped Sirius from the other side of the room as James picked himself off. 

"That was the most dangerous and painful class I have had since coming here!" groaned Lily as she hugged her ribs. 

"I think I broke something."

"I am not that HEAVY, Miss Perfect!" roared James who roughly turned the frog that had caused all the trouble back into a ball. 

"Hmph," was his reply a Lily sat back down and took out _When You're Surrounded by Stupidity: _Frustrating Wizards at their Worst by Snile D. Wjittysplit. 

"Interesting reading selection, lobster," sneered a greasy boy who ha come over to their table after delivering a message to Professor McGonagall. 

"Buzz off Snape," growled James. Of course if Snape turned nasty towards Lily it would be an excuse to pick a fight. 

"What a pity I have to get back to class, Pothead. Otherwise we could have an interesting conversation." The boy went out the door smoothing back his hair. You could almost see the grease wipe off on his fingers. 

"Thanks," mumbled Lily who had turned red again as she packed up her bag. 

"Please, I wasn't doing it for you," James said angrily as he glared at Snape's retreating back. 

Lily looked him, astonished by his rudeness. "Okay." Transfiguration class ended and everyone filed out to lunch.

*

::POTIONS- 1:32pm- Gryffandor & Slytherin 5th years- Professor Durkwood::

Professor Durkwood was filing his papers while two students prepared for the next class. One was walking around with a rapt expression on his face, he set up his cauldron with care. He patted down his hair and wiped his greasy 

fingers on a limp handkerchief before setting his tools down with precision. 

The other student sat in the brightest part of the dungeon finishing the book out _When You're Surrounded by Stupidity: _Frustrating Wizards at their Worst with a grin on her lightly freckled face. Other students drifted in slowly 

and when something keened eerily sending prickles up everyone's spine the Professor looked up.

"Ah, fresh meat," he said with an evil smile. "Today we will be boiling a potion, that if made correctly, will shrink the user to ten times his natural size. If not, the person will turn neon orange and sprout wings as Hampulton the Hairy did in 1428. Unfortunately for him at the time there was no reversal spell. I have gone over the instructions **_3 _**times so there had better not be any problems!" Severus Snape uttered a dreamy sigh, "Now be quiet and I don't want to hear about any of your lousy, measly problems. I have to correct these tests that most of you will fail anyways so SHUT YOUR TRAPS! Oh yes, Potter, Evens? You two will be working together. My beloved colleagues orders." Professor Durkwood took out a stack of parchment, a quill, and a bottle of red ink, and proceeded to slash down all the papers with exceedingly apparent delight.

Lily picked up her things and moved next to James and Co.'s table. Remus moved over so she could sit next to James. Peter was in being treated for his warts. A loud banging startled her. James was hitting his head on the table. 

"Will this torture never cease? All for a stupid prophecy." She heard him mutter disgustedly. 

Lily began assembling her ingredients and poured some chopped up pig's liver into the cauldron. "Five pinches dragon ash, three white eagle feathers, two strands unicorn hair…." 

*

Sirius and Remus were adding the wasp's feet to their cauldron when an explosion next to them rocked the table. Sirius grabbed their cauldron to take it to safety. "Ow, hot, hot, shit-dammit! It spilled. Take it Remus!"

"I don't want it! Ow, ow, owwwww!" howled Remus who hurriedly dumped the cauldron on the table next to them. 

"You are so _braindead_, sometimes Sirius!" Smoke rolled around them.

"YOU _PETUNIA _IDIOT BOY!" yelled a feminine voice. From the clouds emerged a blackened Lily and James. 

"WHAT IS GOING ON?" The vein in Professor Durkwood's neck bulged. 

"I sorta didn't look at my notes and added the hippogriff tooth before Lily had finished putting in the newt's saliva." Admitted James sheepishly. 

"You are both to report to detention tonight. Now _leave_."

"But Professor I didn-"

"Don't test me, Evens!"

"Oh," Lily hurried out of the room with her hands over her face.

"See ya, Durskunk," James followed Lily. A mumbling could be heard from the hall and then the whole class could hear, 

"YES, This _is _the most I have EVER talked in my LIFE, JAMES POTTER. AND THIS IS ALSO MY FIRST _DETENTION._"

"Try new things, child, it's good for you."

"I am _not _a child, you immature prat!"

"You have a DETENTION."

"I am going to HURT you." 

"Please, you have never hurt a fly in your life."

"You come here!"

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW," James's wail of anguish vibrated down the corridor as they left.

"I didn't know she had it in her," said Sirius admiringly as he dumped in a hippogriff's tooth. 

"Wait Sirius!"

"Wha-?"

A second explosion occurred in the Potion's Lab at exactly 1:52-49sec. After handing out two more detentions, Professor Durkwood gave up and the Slytherin-Gryffandor group was given an extra hour of free time. 

********

**** __

Author's Note: (February 24, 2002) I'd forgotten how childish I'd made my characters seem and for that I apologize. Please try to be able to continue though ;)


	5. In which Detention is Served in the Forb...

****

In which Detention is served in the Forbidden Forest 

*

Lily scurried down the corridors to an empty classroom where the detention assignments were to be handed out. She opened the door to find the caretaker of Hogwarts, Argus C. Filch, stroking a seething, blue kitten soothingly. 

"Uncle Gus!" she cried ecstatically. (Don't let sarcasm take over, don't let sarcasm take over…)

"Lily, what a surprise. What are _you_ doing here?" Filch asked as Mrs. Norris leapt from his lap into Lily's arms. Now here was his idea of a model student.

"Oh, Uncle Gus. It's so horrible." A tear leaked out of Lily's eye. "I was partnered with that crummy James Potter in Potions and our cauldron exploded because he wasn't paying attention to what Professor Durkstrang was telling us so I got a detention and it's my first one EVER." She wailed.

"My poor Lily-willy," said Filch and a tear threatened to come out of his eye at the sad story. "I can't get you out of detention but I will be right back."

"Okay Uncle Gus," sniffed Lily, who seated herself on top of a desk and started swinging her legs back and forth. 

"Poor, poor Mrs. Norris. What did those rotten, no good people do to you this time? I bet it was those awful boys." Lily hugged the cat to her chest. Mrs. Norris started to purr in the company of someone who truly understood what a maaarrvelous cat she was. 

James Potter, Sirius Black, and Remus Lupin entered at that moment. Lily turned her back on them and swung her legs from the other side of the desk. 

Seating himself on the top of another desk James whispered audibly, "She said she would get me but all she did was tell some third years I thought they were hot."

"But James," said Sirius with an innocent look on his face, "we heard you painful cries in the Potions room."

"Err, it's hot in here isn't it?" James tugged on the collar of his black robe.

"Go on James," encouraged Remus with a wicked grin.

"Ah, yes well, ahem let's say my bottom was, uh, sore afterwards."

Sirius and Remus roared with laughter and collapsed to the floor. Lily, who had overheard, allowed herself a satisfied smile. For the first time she had actually done something mean to someone, it hadn't been all that bad.

Of course, Filch chose this time to return. 

"Here, Lilypooh. It was for your birthday but I thought you would need something to look forward to since you seem to have a horrible year ahead of you." Filch handed her a book covered with green leather and embossed in gold leaf, Gardening with Lilies; Magical Plants Inside and Out. 

Filch realized for the first time that they had been joined by three-quarters of the Marauders, his most frequent detentionies. He had even heard some crazy rumor that they were going for the most detentions ever at Hogwarts. "So you're back, eh? Missing some good ol' detention fun? If only I was still able to hang students by their heels just like in the good old days. I'm sure you'd still be scurrying back for more _then_."

"Uncle Gus!" Lily was shocked. "Aunt Delia would be most ashamed of the way you're behaving!"

"Erm, of course Lily. You know I don't, uh, mean it. Now hand me Mrs. Norris, there's a good little girl. The um, detention tonight will be with Hagrid out in the Forbidden Forest. Getting some roots for Professor Bogweed or something like that. Follow me."

Filch led the way down to Hagrid's hut. Meanwhile, the boys were taking turns looking astonishingly between Lily and Filch, unsure of whom held the most surprises. 

"Ello, everyone." Called a giant figure carrying a lantern at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. "Took yer a while but yeh got here at leas'."

"Good evening, Hagrid," said Filch looking at Lily anxiously. "Lily won't get any trouble going into the Forbidden Forest with you, will she?"

"O course not, yeh big prune. I hev never lost a singl' student yet an' I'm not planning ta." Said Hagrid with a cheery grin.

"If you say so," said Filch dubiously double checking Lily. "Be good, Lils." He started back for the castle with Mrs. Norris pouncing along side him. Hagrid looked over the group. "Well know, fancy seein' you here, Sirius and James. Good seein' you again too, Remus. Bu' I don't seem to rem'ber you." Hagrid's roving eyes had halted on Lily.

"I'm Lily. Lily Evens." She whispered with wide eyes. Hagrid was quite the impressing figure.

"Oh, ye'd be Filch's rellie. He was talk'n an' talkin' about' yeh when he was down fer a cup o' tea night before last. Me, him, an' Professor Dumbledore." 

Lily gave a shy smile, which made her look unexpectedly attractive suddenly to James who thought that he might get something out of this thing of Dumbledore's after all.

"Now what we'r lookin' fer are some o' these beans, see?" Hagrid held up some yellowish-green beans that looked like snakes. "Professor Bogweed needs 'em fer his next class. We'll be in two groups so we can cov'r more groun' but we should all be within twenty or so feet o' one another. Once th' bags full we can go."

Remus and Sirius looked at each other. Each had a huge fake grin on his face.

"Remus, old pal."

"Sirius! Long time no see."

"We have some catching up to do friend."

"Oh, yup. Definitely."

"Maybe we should walk together for a ways."

"No harm in that." When they got closer, Remus whispered, "I don't want to be alone with Lily considering her 

relations!"

"Oh man, yeah! And after what she did to James." Sirius shivered. "That was pure evil through and through. Took some smarts to come up with that one though. Maybe we should recruit her." 

"Maybe…"

*

This left James and Lily together with Hagrid. 

"Well, I had better stay with those two," said Hagrid. "They got thoughts on the'r minds, very dang'rous."

"Okay," said Lily nervously. Being alone in the Forbidden Forest with James Potter made her shivery. He didn't seem like much protection compared to the hulking Hagrid. 

"Are we going to stand here all night or are you going to hurry up so we can get out of here?" asked James irritably. 

The small passing thoughts on how pretty she was were long gone as he stood there freezing his (already sore) butt off. And both problems were _her _fault. Lily didn't answer but started walking the path Hagrid, Sirius, and Remus had taken.

The small ball of light Lily had conjured hung above them as they looked for the bushes that had beans on them. 

"I found one." hissed James to Lily who had ignored his stopping, being rather occupied with a dream about two weeks ago when she was leading a nice happy dull life: the wonderful days of her youth. Lily took out the small sack she had been entrusted with by Hagrid (later to be poured into the bigger sack). Carefully she opened it up and James dropped beans into it. It was almost full when there was a rustling in the leaves. Lily shrieked and ran into James. Between standing close to someone she disliked and possible death, she would take James any day. As it happened, however, only a mouse scurried by. Still, Lily gulped convulsively and didn't move.

On the other hand, James was thinking about how seductive a lavender smelling and scared witless female person could be when they were holding on to him for dear life. Teenager boys, cluck, cluck! Unfortunately, his hormones got the better of him and he leaned in to kiss Lily. Lily looking up at him as he went in for the kill [creepy phrasing!!] frantically kneed him in the, ahem, as the author is not in Health she will only say…she kneed him where it counts. And slapped him hard on the cheek.

"Oh, are you okay?" Lily was a tad worried seeing that she didn't actually want to believe that she had actually just _physically_ hurt someone.

"Oww," James doubled up in pain. "Good Lord, Evens. Frag it all, I can see how you're related to Filch. I have known you a day and I am covered in injuries."

"They were not all inflicted by me," Lily said hoarsely looking at the boy who had almost given her her first kiss. 

"And do _not _try to say you didn't deserve what you got just now."

"We. Have. Enough. Beans. Now!" labored James as he hunched further away from Lily. Lily tied up the sack and made sure to keep a good distance between her and James on the way back. Since James was doing the same thing there was about ten feet from her to him. But, just as the way things always seem to Mary Sue themselves, the distance was not kept for long. 

"James," Lily shrieked once again and this time succeeded in bowling James over as she ran to him. A tremendously large dog ran over to them and drool splashed to the ground.

"No Fangs, no," moaned James as he sat up and unwrapped Lily's arms from around him. "And how is it you always get to run and hug me yet when I try to give you a simple, _friendly_ kiss you freak out and do painful things. 

"Fine, I am sorry. But it's so big and… big!" Lily shivered a little as Fang lowered his head to sniff her. "And I was NOT hugging you."

"It sure felt that way to me." Said James. "And I have experience with hugging."

"Oh, yes. And I'm sure it's _just _hugging you have experience with too," said Lily snidely. 

"What is that supposed to mean?" demanded James who was very defensive.

"Oh, just stop and leave me alone." Groaned Lily.

"I don't think I will." Said James. This was turning out to be a bad night.

"Please be quiet James Potter. I don't like who I am around you. I'm nasty and horrible. I feel like some Slytherin. I _just_ want to have some tea go to bed and read An Old-Fashioned Girl. And then when I am an appropriate age some prince like person'll sweep me off my feet. I just want to be what I was twenty four hours ago." Much to James horror, Lily started crying. Crying females were more Remus' type. Sure he broke girls' hearts but he didn't _comfort _them! What in the world was he supposed to do?

"Hey, uh, Lily. I'm er sorry about all I've done. I mean I did get you your first detention and all. Why don't we go tell Professor Dumbledore that we can't do it and get you out of this mess. I mean, when my girlfriend finds out about this arrangement she won't be too pleased and she's er got connections with all the little girl gossip shows or 

whatever."

"I don't want to look like a coward," murmured Lily. "but.., wait a second! Did you just say you have a girlfriend?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Do you?"

"Yes, I suppose that is true."

"You cheating, lying, filth bag of scum! You just tried to kiss me and you have a girlfriend! You could have ruined my first kiss _and_ that misguided girl's reputation."

"I do it all the- you mean you've never been kissed?"

"No."

"_NEVER?"_

"NO."

"That must be tough."

"For your information, Potter, it isn't."

"Oh yeah, that _prince _guy."

"Shove it up your arse James Potter."

"I'll just have to change that, won't I?"

"James Potter, if you ruin my first kiss for me, which you WON'T, I'll…I'll…"

"You'll do what? Glare at me?" 

"I think I have proven that I can do more than glare when I want to, you hormonal teenage male."

"Well then it is good for you because I happen to NOT want to kiss you nor see you ever again. Such a pity Professor 

Dumbledore ordered otherwise."

"I agree. And I am going back to Hagrid right now."

"Well so am I." 

*

"So what happened with you and the fair maiden Lily tonight?" asked Sirius when Peter was asleep.

"What makes you think anything happened?" asked James carelessly as he jumped on his pillow to make it smushy.

"_Welll_," drawled out Remus. "You both came back looking pretty piqued." 

"We might have upset each other a couple of times tonight," admitted James.

"More," demanded Remus and Sirius.

"Okay, well it started when this mouse came by and Lily ran into my arms and-"

"You didn't!" gasped Remus.

"You're right, I didn't." said James looking downcast. "That doesn't mean I didn't try though."

"James! You're dating Cecilia." Remus was shocked.

"That never stopped me before. Besides she's getting old. It's been six days already."

"Your gonna dump her?" 

"Yup."

"What do you mean by you tried?" asked Sirius as a thought floated in his head and a wicked grin appeared.

"She, erm, kneed me in the groins," said James blushing,

"Ahhh ha ha ha, Oh. My. God! I wish, I was there!" gasped Remus as he rolled over the floor laughing. 

"Shut up!" said James. "It's not that funny."

More laughter.

"It's NOT!"

"Sure it's not," reassured Sirius standing up on his bed. "Okay, and now for something I call Reenactment time. Peter 

pitch me that ball. It is now our fair maiden's foot." Peter was looking groggily out of the curtains of his bed.

"On the count of three. One. Two. THREE!" Peter threw the ball and Sirius caught it at his stomach. 

"Oh, noo. Fair maiden Lily why so cruel?" Sirius dropped to the bed and hung over the end. He put his hand over his forehead dramatically.

"Lily, o' Lily! All I want to do is snog you. Cecilia is nothing to me, NOTHING!" Sirius pouted as before pretending to stick his tongue down the imaginary throat of the ball he was clutching.

"Eww, no Sirius, no!" Remus said. "That's mine from Christmas. And anyways I thought that was the fair maiden Lily's foot."

"I'm making out with a foot? YUCK!" Sirius flung the ball onto the bed beside his own. 

"If you are done now…?" James asked in a very bored tone.

"Oh we'll never be done James…"

*

Lily slipped her nightgown over her head and brushed her teeth before going to bed with the cup of hot tea and the book Under the Lilacs, just as she had wanted to. This day was one of horrible first experiences from beginning to end and all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and never come out until the end of the year. Thank goodness it's Friday, she thought as she finished her tea and a chapter at the same time. She turned out the lights and pulled her covers over her head. Now if only James Potter was at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean on the other side of the world! 

%%%%%%%%%%%

__

Author's Note: **Once again, I apologize for immaturity of this chapter and the previous. They become more "normal" (if Sirius could ever BE normal) in the chapters to come. Well…um…maybe. **


	6. One Fine Saturday Morning

****

What Somebody Like Professor Trelawny Can Do

Chapter 6 : One Fine Saturday Morning

*

__

James frowned at the floor in the boys dormitories. This day, that had formerly seemed so great yesterday, was not getting of to a good start. He had a babbling Sirius on his hands, a smelly Peter, and a complaining Remus. All because of one _simple _little prank!

"We are never disabling the Hogwarts water system again!" roared Remus for the hundred and twentieth time. His temper, normally dormant, had risen in the experience of bad hygiene. "I want a shower!"

"I understand," James groaned. He definitely understood- being in the same dormitory as his friend Peter Pettigrew after Peter hadn't showered in twenty-four hours was not something he wanted to repeat. Meanwhile Sirius was going into overdrive. He was giggling and sounding at the same time, a lot like the muggle cartoon Scooby Doo. 

"I want to do more!" he crowed. Remus burrowed his head in his pillow in an attempt to drown out the noise. He shouldn't have allowed Sirius to have some chocolate covered coffee beans. 

"What's that smell?" James, who had been oblivious to the world for a few minutes while trying to regroup, looked up suddenly from the contemplation of the floor. 

Remus looked pointedly at Peter. Peter blushed. "What? _What?_" 

"Have some deodorant, it's supposed to make you smell 'shower fresh'." Sirius giggled. James was rolling his eyes again, this was ridiculous. Had he even had his medicine yet?

"I repeat," Remus continued. "We are never, EVER, over-my-dead-body, messing around with H2O again!" 

"I just can't understand how they haven't fixed it by now," James said while glaring at Sirius who was doing cartwheels around the room. These were the times when a Lily Evans would be extremely useful. 

"Oh tah," said Peter airily as he applied liberal amounts of dried soap to his arms. "They're probably still dealing with the Slytherins."

"Oh yes," exclaimed Sirius with a far off look in his eyes. He whispered reverently, "The _Slytherins_."

****

*

The sun slanted through a slit in the curtains and crept into the far off corner where Lily's bed lay. Lily was snoring softly as the clock ticked past eleven o'clock. Her book had been smashed against the wall and Lily had a good chance of falling out of the bed if she leaned any further over the side. 

"Lily," a voice whispered in her ear. 

"Oh just hit her with a pillow," another tittered. 

"Come on Arabella," said a third. "You're sort of her friend. Wake her up!"

Arabella, the fourth and last girl standing over Lily, shook her head. "She has obviously had a very traumatizing time of it with those stupid boys."

"Stupid!" gasped the second, Janie McPherson, in shock. "How could _they _be stupid?"

"Easily," Arabella remained aloof although, when she thought of Sirius Black, her heart flip-flopped. But of course she'd _never _let on that she liked him. A very nice Ravenclaw sixth year happened to have shown an interest in her. Besides, **he** never went on sugar highs. 

"Let's get this over with," the first young lady, Sophie Morong, said. The last girl, Anne St. John, nodded in silent agreement. Anne, Sophie, Arabella, and Janie were silent for a moment while considering what to do next. Sophie, who had 'tittered', finally came up with an idea that satisfied her at least.

Cupping her hands to her mouth, Sophie screamed. "LILY!"

"Wha-?" with a bump, Lily fell out of bed. "Ouch," she moaned rubbing her sore head. "It's too early to be up." The other four held back snickers. Lily was always the first one up.

"So what was it like?" demanded Anne immediately. 

"What was what like?" Lily asked sleepily. She looked at the clock, 11:09 it blinked. Absentmindedly, Lily wondered who had fooled with her clock. It couldn't have been past seven. 

"Being alone with James, of course," Janie said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Why would you care?" Lily said. "He's a jerk!" She yawned sleepily before heading to the bathroom. "I'm going to take a shower."

The four remaining girls looked at each other. 

"Um, Lily," Arabella called hesitantly. "You can't."

"Excuse me?" Lily mumbled through a mouth full of mouth wash as she reappeared. "What do you mean, I can't?"

"Well…" Anne drawled. "The water works have kind of broken down." Lily accidentally spat her mouth wash out on the floor.

"What?!"

"It's actually pretty cool despite the fact we reek," Sophie rambled on ecstatically. "Someone ambushed the Slytherins right in their own house! They got pelted with stink pellets and they can't wash off. Of course neither can we but that's not the point. They've been quarantined in the Slytherin house until the showers are working again."

"Petunia!" Lily cursed as she went back in the bathroom to test the shower. It didn't work despite the sizzling glare she sent its way. "Well I'm going to go swimming in the lake then- this is so revolting

"I know," Arabella agreed. "How immature of the Marauders."

Lily had been on her way out the door. "Did you say, _Marauders_?" she spat out in disgust. She stopped and thought for a moment. "I'll deal with those pansies later," she decided. "Right now I need to get clean."

Lily's roommates wondered at this sudden confidence as they watched Lily run outside and towards a hidden part of the lake. This was so unlike her! _I like it_, Arabella thought, _this will be good for Lily_. 

*

Lily was nabbed on her way back from swimming by an irate James Potter.

"Where were you?" he demanded as he dragged her down an empty hallway. Lily tried to towel her dripping hair dry though it was very difficult when you only had one hand free.

"Let go of me, you monstrosity of nature," she commanded ripping her arm out of his grasp. "I happened to have been washing in the lake because _someone _(or _someones_) happened to have completely blanked out clean and running water for the entire day. Did you even stop to realize that some people enjoy being CLEAN? Or that the human race can't survive without water? Technically, we are all supposed to have eight glasses of H2O each day. Not to mention how disappointed Professor Dumbledore will be in me for not keeping you out of trouble. I'll be given another detention and once you've had two detentions you're bound to go for a third. I'll be the despised stinky chain smoker with fish-net stockings! How could you ruin me like this? I'm as good as a petunia hooker now!"

James hurriedly emptied his mind of thoughts as Lily as a hooker in a short skirt and concentrated on the list he needed for Potions next Monday. Damn, he knew he should have listened in class during the week! 

"Lily don't you think you're exaggerating a little?" he asked uncomfortably. How were you supposed to react with a girl you had just imagined as a hooker? A _nerdy _girl you'd just imagined as a hooker? The girl that was supposed to act like your mother as a hooker? Your mother as a hooker? James choked at the gross thought. Backing up…

"Exaggerating? _Exaggerating? _How could I possibly be exaggerating, James Potter?" Lily attempted to run a hand through her hair before giving up what with the towel obstructing its path. "I have had my first detention EVER! That's only one step and already I'm associated with people who DISABLE WATER SYSTEMS! What is wrong with the world these days? I'm about to become a juvenile delinquent! Isn't this the past where adults are supposed to interfere?"

"Okay, hang on a minute," James said frowning as Lily led the way to the infirmary. "First of all, that water system thing was genius at the time. Second of all, you had no part in it so stop taking credit for it."

"Of course I had no part in it!" Lily exclaimed angrily. "But now that I'm supposed to act like your surrogate mother and all, I have to take responsibility for it!"

"Somehow I don't think Professor Dumbledore will blame you," James said trying to think of a way to convince Lily to help him with Sirius. "How could you have known that at one o' clock in the morning after a long detention, we'd still have enough energy left to wreck havoc on the school?"

"Right," Lily said beginning to come around to his reasoning. "Exactly! James, you're a genius! I could kiss you!"

"I'd rather you didn't," James recalled his painful experience in the forest the night before. Lily rolled her eyes at him but was too happy at having been cleared of any responsibility in his latest prank to take further action.

By now they had made their way into the main corridor of Hogwarts where students had clustered to compare hysterical stories at the expense of the quarantined Slytherins. Lily ducked her head after acquiring a couple of glares for being on the arm of James Potter(who was 'supposedly' ineligible since his girlfriend was rather possessive and nasty). However, Lily caught a thumbs up from Arabella Figg directed in her general direction and smiled. This experience could be useful in expounding her social skills, she was sure. 

"Can we stop at the infirmary?" Lily finally asked James as they headed down a side hallway that could be turned into a route for a side errand their.

"That's where we're going," James said impatiently. "We're supposed to meet Remus, Peter, and Sirius there. I hope Sirius got his pills," he added on a side note to himself but Lily hadn't overheard.

"Well that's handy then," she exclaimed with a mood lightening in every step. While James had been having a steadily horrible day all the way through, hers just kept improving. "I have some stress medication to get from Madame Pomfrey." James rather thought that he could use some of that stuff now too what with the future meeting with the dissatisfied trio waiting for him. They arrived to much confusion in the infirmary. It appeared that Sirius, while in his highly caffeinated state, had accidentally spilled Peter's leftover potions' experiment all over a bunch of Hufflepuff second years. There seemed to be a mixture between a riot and a mob inside the hospital and Sirius had been forced to wait outside so as not to excite any "harmful" feelings in the already pained Hufflepuffs. It didn't matter much that the Slytherins had had to be quarantined when they themselves were in such discomfort.

"Hello Sirius," Lily greeted as soon as they were close enough to see Sirius' somewhat dazed expression. She looked at him with a bit of concern. "Are you feeling alright."

"I think Poppy may have doubled my pills," Sirius said groggily. "I don't think she was very happy. Do you?"

"Um," Lily was spared further comment by James asking where Peter and Remus were. 

"I think Peter might have gotten some of the potion on himself too," Sirius said. "And Remus just left to look for you. So if Remus is supposed to be with you, and you are here, and he isn't here, than where is Remus?" Sirius started muttering to himself.

"I think Poppy gave him triple dosage," James whispered as Lily made to enter the infirmary. "Try to avoid her, okay? We have some things to do today and I can't have you being helpful." 

"Potter!" Lily exclaimed in shock. "How rude!"

"Just get on with it, will you," James said impatiently. "We have errands to run."

"You sound like my Mum," Lily said disapprovingly. She left James and Sirius alone for a few moments to gulp down some of her own medicine and returned to find Sirius back in his normal state.

"Greetings fair Lily," Sirius said scrambling to his feet as she came back. "Sorry about my lapse there."

"No…problem," Lily said wondering what other strange things she had yet to learn about this 'fabulous' foursome.

"What did you want to get, Prongs?" Sirius asked, almost promptly forgetting about the newer addition to their group. "I never knew you to have a craving for Honeydukes."

"I believe that was only you and Wormtail, Padfoot," James said. "I need to go to the Quidditch supply shop to get another pair of twig scissors. I believe you sat on the last pair."

"Oh yes," Sirius said as he paused to remember the occasion. "Yes, you idiot. I believe _you _were the one that seated me on it." 

"Just a harmless prank!" James protested good-naturedly while brushing his hair out of his eyes. Lily, who was trying to decipher this odd language the two were talking in (Wormtail? Prongs? Padfoot?), noticed that his glasses were slightly askew- added to his messy hair it gave him a handsome but rakish appearance that agreed with his rakish personality. _Oh dear, _Lily thought. _You know he is only putting up with you to get on Dumbledore's good side. Besides, he has only been rude to you ever since we met!_

"I bet Moony is waiting for us at the witch," Sirius said after they had been walking for a few minutes. "Why don't we go there instead of searching?"

"Padfoot, for once you've had a good idea," James said. 

"What are talking about? I come up will _all_ our good ideas!" Sirius exclaimed. 

"So you are there resident genius?" Lily asked with raised eyebrows of astonishment. "No wonder Professor Dumbledore assigned me to keep an eye on James." James opened his mouth to speak but decided better of it. Dumbledore would probably not like it if he spilled the real reason of this situation within the first week. Even if it did mean destroying his reputation in the process. After all, test scores would show that he was best in the class as usual. 

"Where are we?" Lily asked as they walked in a part of Hogwarts she had never been in before in all of her five years there. 

"It's an escape me and Jamesie discovered our first year here," Sirius said.

"James and I, you mean," Lily corrected.

"Not Jamesie, James," James said simultaneously. Sirius ignored both remarks. 

"Well, why are we escaping?" Lily asked. She considered what she said for a minute. "Wait- we _are _escaping?"

"Like I said," James repeated in the same tone he generally used to address his much less intelligent girlfriends and one nighters. "We. Are. Going. Shopping." Upon seeing a small gleam in Lily's eye (she hadn't bought new clothes for quite a while) he added hastily, "For Quidditch!"

"Oh," Lily said with some disappointment since she wasn't much of a sports fan. "But we aren't allowed to go shopping anyway. This isn't a Hogsmeade weekend."

"Has that ever stopped us before Mr. Prongs?"

"I don't believe it has, Mr. Padfoot," James answered. "Just go along with this, Lily."

"Absolutely not!" Lily exclaimed in horror. "I think we already had this conversation earlier James! If we get caught, then I'll get another detention and we've already explored the future after that." James was reminded of his thoughts of his mother as a hooker and resisted shuddering- barely. 

"Lily, Lily, Lily," Sirius began in an effort to reassure her. "You're with the experts now. Have we ever been caught before?"

James coughed into his first. "Yes," he hacked hoarsely. Sirius shot him a glare. 

"Don't mind Prongs," Sirius finished. "He hasn't been having the best day." 

"I wonder why," James grumbled under his breath as images of a giggling Sirius came into his head. As they walked closer to a statue, Lily realized what they had meant by 'the witch'. (She had thought it rather odd since their were a couple of hundred witches in the building to refer to one simply as 'the'). This statue was quite ugly in its picture of a hunched figure that looked rather like a hag with the warts on the chin and gruesomely depicted lice in the grizzly stone hair. True to Sirius' guess, Remus was leaning on the witch comfortably and every so often checking his watch. 

"It's about noon," Remus said in greeting. "I think we might as well go to the tavern to have lunch."

"Remus has a crush on a waitress at Hogsmeade," Sirius whispered mischievously to Lily and had the gratification to see a slight blush on Remus' cheeks. Lily grinned and made a mental note never to tell secrets to Sirius.

"Fine but you're going to have to eat quickly," James said impatiently as he took his wand out of his robe pocket. "I want to get my kit while they're still on sale. Mum and Dad are still mad about that little…incident…from before we went back to school," he said on a side note to Sirius and Remus. "There won't be much pocket change for me until Christmas."

"The way I see it, we were doing them a favor," Sirius said innocently. "That vase was dead ugly." Remus glared at Sirius, not quite forgetting how his aunt had put him on gnome duty when he got back from the Potters. James began to tap the witch with his wand while Remus asked Sirius what had happened to Peter. Lily watched them in a sort of glazed stare (one that she used often in the History of Magic classroom) when she suddenly realized just what James was doing. She rushed him knocking his wand on the floor where it skittered a few feet away.

"Is it me, or did Lily just go mad?" Sirius asked of no one in particular. 

"I refuse to let you go to Hogsmeade without permission," Lily stated furiously standing in front of the witch statue. Remus noticed that the two looked eerily similar despite the fact that Lily didn't have lice or warts. He amended his opinion, their _expressions_ looked similar. "Can't you be like the less 'important' people for once in your miserable lives and do something by the rules? We have a real Hogsmeade weekend in only another week. Must you disobey at every moment? Wasn't last night enough? Can't you ever do anything right?"

"We have a game Friday night for your information, Miss Perfect," James said stiffly. "Most of my broom gear was 'accidentally' destroyed by Snape and Sirius sat on my twig cutters. Now please move away from the witch or I'll remove you by force." Lily glared at him, not for a minute believing him capable of such a feat. He looked very scrawny in his oversized robes that he had borrowed from a seventh year on the Quidditch team and didn't seem capable of moving her, bony knees and all. However, the next minute removed any sense of doubt as James actually _picked her up_ and replaced her on the other side of the hallway without any illusion to effort. Lily frowned at such invasion of her space.

"James Potter," she began again with even more anger. "If you think for one second that I'm not going to tell Professor McGonagall about this, you are WRONG."

"Filch spawn," Sirius muttered. "Figures." Lily ignored him, knowing that she wouldn't go to Professor McGonagall about this even though she threatened. 

"She won't tattle," James said carelessly picking his wand back up and returning to the witch. "Lily's too scared of Minny."

"I wish you'd stop nick-naming the teachers," Lily mumbled under her breath. "How disrespectful." She looked up and noticed that the witch had moved revealing a dark passageway and the three boys were now looking at her.

"Should we take her with us?" Sirius asked. "Grandmother threatened not to get me the new Comet 260 if I got more than two hundred detentions in the first semester," he added with narrowed eyes at Lily.

"I told you she wouldn't tell," James said in a better mood now that the passageway was open and he was officially on his way to Hogsmeade. "We might as well bring her with us," he said with a sigh thinking of Professor Dumbledore's instructions to become friends. Easier said than done, James thought his lip curling while remembering all of yesterday's events. None of those had led to Lily trusting him- something pretty important if he wanted to be friends with such a Miss Prim.

"But I don't want to go!" Lily exclaimed stamping her foot on the floor like a small child throwing a tantrum. Remus snorted. 

"Come on Lily," he said. "You've never been to Hogsmeade until you've been there with the Marauders."

Lily held out for a few minutes but after a few minutes of very scary looks from all three teenagers she consented with little grace. "Fine," she grumbled. "But I am not going to get another detention because of you idiots."

"Sure Lily," Sirius said winking over her head to James who was just starting to disappear into the tunnel. 

"I can't wait to see Rosie again," Remus said. 

"I've been thinking, Lils," Sirius' voice drifted back out through the open tunnel that had been forgotten in the effort to make Lily join them in Hogsmeade. "Maybe it's time for me to chart all the secrets of Hogwarts- you know, for future pranksters? You think you'd want to help? I figure with all that Charm junk in your brain and my personal genius, we could make a pretty decent map."

"Don't call me Lils," Lily's own voice scowled. With all the things on everybody's mind, no one noticed the exposure of their escape. 

And no one noticed the dark, black figure standing at the head of the passageway wearing a smirk on his face.

****

Author's Note: 

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Sorry about waiting so long to update!!! I can't believe it's been a year already!!! I'm a horrible, horrible person- I know. I'm just glad school's over~ phew! I hope more updates will come soon.

Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry!!

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